A Path To “I Am Not My Illness."

All of us have had struggles in life, though those with a mental health diagnosis may have difficulties that are more impactful, long lasting and impairing. Often, mental illness includes an element of self-doubt, negative self-talk, or intrusive thoughts. Hearing a daily critic can feel horribly painful, like living with a bully, or even an abuser. But that critic isn’t someone you can walk away from - when it’s mental illness, the voice is inside of you.

When you have anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, or one of many other concerns, it can start to feel like that critic is YOU. YOU are telling yourself that you’re not good enough, you don’t matter, you’re not skinny enough. Add these to what can often be a long list of other cruel, daily messages you have been hearing day in and day out. And maybe you even start to believe them.

Here’s the thing… that voice? That is not you. That voice is your illness. That voice is the thing you and your team of a therapist, prescriber, dietician, friends, and others are working to weaken. Maybe even to eliminate. And over time, with support, you will learn and practice and implement strategies that will diminish the power the voice has over you.

Another important note - There is a healthy voice and a healthy part of you too. Sometimes in the nadir of an illness, the healthy part can feel very quiet, small, and hard to access. Perhaps you don’t believe it’s there. Here is where people often find themselves seeking therapy or medication management - because they don’t see the healthy part of themselves, or they don’t know how to strengthen it. Our work is on finding that part of you that is fighting, maybe is fearful to hope things can get better. Then, we will build upon your unique strengths.

Healing from mental illness can be slower than we wish, nonlinear, and challenging. It can take work that we may be fearful to put in. If reading this, you have felt at times like you’ve believed the harmful messages from your mental illness, consider asking yourself a question. “Is this the healthy part of me saying this, or is this the voice of my illness?” Perhaps, you even start to say in your mind, or even out loud to yourself, “This is my illness, this is not me.” There can be power in naming things, and this can loosen the grip of the hurtful message. You and your therapist may work on this and many other strategies to continue your path forward. The work is not easy, however, the other side of the mountain reveals such a beautiful vista.